Eps 1720: How to love
— The too lazy to register an account podcast
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In learning to love someone, you will make mistakes, and learn to avoid repeating them along the way. When we learn to love someone without selfish motivations or personal gain, we feel a lot closer to them. When we learn how to love and understand ourselves, to truly feel compassion for ourselves, then we will be able to really love and understand another person.
There is no better way than loving someone exactly as they are and accepting them completely - that is how; we are giving room for our loved one to grow and be better. If we know that truly loving someone starts from the bottom of a buckling knee, then we are ready, we are not giving up. Sometimes, we have not had the time to figure ourselves out, but we already found our object of love.
When we realise all of our hopes and expectations cannot, of course, be fulfilled in this one person, we still feel empty. All the heart-fluttering, butterflies-in-the-belly, knee-buckling, cannot substitute for authentic acts of love. You might have this person already, but their love for you is not going to remain constant; there is no place to get complacent with love.
You are the one person who will be there with you forever; the one person who will be there for you through thick and thin; the one who knows you better. Always show your true feelings by showing your loved ones your affections, without resorting to any pretense. Tell your loved one every possible reason, either in person or through a handwritten note or text on your telephone, and watch your relationship experience a magic effect.
When you truly love someone, you will put effort into understanding things that your partner is not comfortable asking of you. As a resolution for loving someone deeply, make compromises when necessary, and be honest and open while having conversations with your partner. True love means honesty and accountability in your other relationships, so work on your self-awareness, not downplaying or making excuses anymore, so that you fully embrace who you are.
This is the reason the key to self-love is often simply being positive and accepting who you are as a human being. In other words, how you think, speak to yourself, and view the world is not necessarily how you are, meaning that how you think could be adjusted in order to become more self-loving. When we embrace a self-loving attitude, we experience higher levels of self-esteem, are less critical and harsh to ourselves when we mess up, and are able to celebrate our positive qualities while accepting our negative ones.
As silly as this sounds at first, we all give love in certain ways, and self-love is no different. No matter what your current relationship to food is, eating should be an act of self-love. It is not about the good foods you are supposed to eat or the bad> foods you are not supposed to eat; it is about loving your body enough to feed it whatever makes it feel best.
In fact, loving yourself comes out of simply feeling good about yourself and being hopeful in your abilities as a human being. How much you love someone also makes you deeply generous, empathic, and appreciative of your partner. When you focus on loving and compassionate self-love instead of trying to get others to love you, you will strengthen your sense of self-worth and interrupt the patterns of codependence, so that you will be able to build healthier, happier relationships - with yourself and others.
Love-thinking believes in the existence of tragedy, i.e., in the possibility that one could be a good person and still be wrong. Love-thinking takes us in a different direction, asks us to use our imaginations to imagine why one may have done an unforgivable act, yet might remain an appropriate target for some measure of understanding and compassion. Love-thinkers reach instinctively for plausible explanations, and they clearly picture the better moments in their minds for the person who is now mad, but who is fundamentally loving.
They do not make the febrile situation worse by being hypocritical, the sign of a not-knowing-oneself-too-well--and of highly selective memories. The thoughtful loving person knows himself enough to realize that the rejection of perspective is both hugely normal, and generally not indicating anything more than passing despair or exhaustion. When Love-thinkers confront their own apparent weaknesses, they do not come away concluding that this is all there is, they know that nearly anything on the negative side of the ledger can be connected with something on the positive.
Love is built from the ever-renewing, ever-gently-resigned realization that people without weaknesses do not exist. Yet everyone who has ever taken this full-hearted leap of faith knows that love remains mysterious - possibly the most mysterious thing in human experience. Yet since love is a learned dynamic interplay, we form our patterns of understanding - and misunderstandings - in early life, through osmosis and imitation, not through conscious creation.
Everyone shares a unique connection to the person they love, and there may be infinite potential ways of showing our hearts true emotions. Not that PopCrush wants to see rap maestros going full-on crooner on us, but this gem shows how even the toughest exteriors can come with a swoon-worthy heart. Lil Wayne even revealed that for his acoustic-driven How To Love, he took inspiration from the inspiring 1993 song, Keep Ya Head Up And Say by late rapper Tupac Shakur. That song is just about to take over the world.