Eps 192: get him away from me

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Brian Baker

Brian Baker

Podcast Content
Before jumping into something new, or even trying to bring it back, remember to spend time grieving and making sense of the situation for yourself. Rather than automatically getting back together because you cannot imagine being without the awesome boyfriend, spending time away from him may help you re-discover yourself as yourself. You might find that the more time away you spend from a situation, the less it hurts, and maybe even less you will wish you could bring him back. If an awesome guy is trying to get you back, and you are thinking of taking him back, tell him his best chance at getting you back is giving you a little bit of time to reflect on things.
You want to show you are listening, so that he knows that you would make an excellent partner down the line, should you actually get back together. By offering love and respect yourself, when the best man for you comes along, he will be better equipped to understand you and what you want from your own life, as well as a relationship. Look at it this way, a man may not be satisfied with his own relationships, so it is not as though you are going to be the one to destroy relationships. When your man knows that you are not in his life, he is going to be too busy trying to bring you back to pay attention to anything else.
While you may be inclined to start living your best life on the internet, so that he can see you and be thinking of you, the truth is, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so if he cannot access you, he will seek you out. Sure, your ex-lover may indeed appreciate your company with family and friends, but his true goal will be getting closer to you. Many may see that as invasive, but if your past lovers shared healthy relationships with your family and friends, they might use that as a reason to bond with you.
Your past lover is all smiles, his body language is clear, he cannot get enough of you. Once you answer, if your past lover is trying to continue the conversation by asking how your day went and what you did throughout the day, or by completely straying off the subject to talk about something you liked, then it is obvious he simply wants to continue getting your responses because he loves seeing your name pop up on his phone screen. As you alternate between being ignored and making eye contact, a guy is going to expect to receive the attention that you are giving him.
That way, when your ex does lose track of you and gets back in touch, you will have some good news to share about all that you did. You cannot go away harboring the secret hope that, by doing this, she will return. The other best-case scenario is that he actually does crawl back, but by then, you do not really want him any more, and you canat go off happy hopping, ready to go on the next fabulous outing with friends, or with your new beau. Coming back to an awesome guy, especially if either of those situations is the case, will just lead to more wasted time, and an even bigger broken heart.
It is not going to happen overnight, but the best you can do if you want to learn how to get him back is show he is ready to change and begin taking baby steps towards better behaviour. Assuming that you are successful in your plan to bring a wonderful man back, you want to ensure the two of you are not stuck in the same relationship rut that you were before. The most painful aspect of this, though, is that the things you are doing in an attempt to right things and bring a man closer to you again are really... pushing him farther away.
Remember, men want what they cannot have, and knowing you feel that way is going to make your man mad. If you are not deliberately pushing him away to try and break up a relationship, then it is useful to learn about the things that push men away, so that you can avoid doing them in the future. When considering ways to get a man to dump his girlfriend, do not be impulsive, things like going to him and telling him what you are feeling could destroy your chances even before you meet him.
Not getting fixed might sound like the last thing you want to do, but this is the fastest way to get a man feeling the overwhelming urge to get back closer to you. This is a good way to get your man to understand that he needs to improve his demeanor and attitude before you both even think about getting back together, because if he does not, there is no way that you can ever feel happy again with him. As you are working on yourself and your life, there are going to be plenty of opportunities to pick up the phone and call him, but before doing so, and before taking his call, there are some other things you need to keep in mind to successfully convince him to return. For whatever reason, if your ex-lover is still distraught over your actions, it is clear it is because he wants to still be part of your life.