Eps 4: a fart fetish story about a gassy bully
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Allan Gregory
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I am not sure that a factoid like this has any place at all in this article, but if it does, we better get better at it than Urban Dictionary and Yahoo Answers. The assholes that added material about losing your ability to fart due to eating the fruits of the Garden of Eden are simply twisting the words around so it sounds ludicrous instead of true. He is explicitly saying that, as we see, humans are incredibly diversely made up, and there are some people who are capable of controlling their farting so they make singing noises.
One of the most Stoic of Noahs does not rest upon the victims face, instead hovering, which allows James to observe how her cheeks are broken open, her anus opening, to let out a prolonged, sharp fart. James is rudely turned, his back pounding against a cabinet, and gets the first up-close view of Noahs grinning face. It is just Tuesday--just his second day in this school--and James is already reduced to the fart-pillow of the bully.
It is through the exertion of it all that he manages to capture a few minutes rise in another boys legs before the shrill, drenched fart blasts out from it. Noahs dragging the opening up on him, forcing James to shut his lips to prevent a more intense taste, blasts out another loud fart. Noah pushes James into Noahs lap, grabs a handful of his longer-than-average hair, snatching back the head till he hits wood.
Every day for the rest of the week, Noah does something to James that involves joking, shit-talking Noah, or both. James watches helplessly as Noah lets out one damp, sharp fart just under a centimetre away from a French fry, then another just inches away from the hamburger bun, leaving a less-than-appetizing ass-print in its wake.
I mean, of course, the smell is horrible, some of the worst things you will ever smell, but when you literally get your nose into a butt-crack of the bullys ass as he is blowing away the fart, it becomes...toxic. I do not know if anybody has ever had a fart in their face the way I did, but let me tell you, this goes far beyond just having a really bad smell.
I was already feeling like throwing up because of her large feet and farts, but now my stomach is actually turning. I turned my head sideways, so he just threw the mega-loud thing right on the side of my cheek. Then he reached behind me, grabbed my head, shoved it right in to his gigantic butt, and let out another monster fart. Matt grabbed my head again, shoved my face right back into his giant ass, and ripped out another big, loud fart which went straight up into my nose.
Matt changed positions, so that he was lying down on me, ass in my crotch, big legs on top of my face. Matt was wearing just a bright pair of yellow gym shorts, his pale, mushy frame bare, his big feet exposed. I stood on the floor, my back on my stomach, too humbled to be willing to stand up to see the faces of all the other kids who had just watched me completely demolished with a fart.
Tim and Dave are late-20s/early-30s, and everyone else in their circle of friends is, too. Note that some are oxidizers, some are reducers, which is an issue for both the drug and the gas metabolism.
Now, in order to balance this out, he would have completed a similar framework, which is about gassing, but in favor of Catholicism. It would probably be better to go back after that, adopting a different tone, and maybe you will find that people are open to listening. Noahs grinning face is as beautiful up close as he is at distance, although Noahs stature--the top of Jamess head is reaching over his shoulders, at best--means that it is still a little too far away for an in-depth dissection.