Eps 82: there is nothing I can do for you
— podca
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Host
Brian Baker
Podcast Content
Because the truth is, there are always things that we could do -- and you never will get the time to do nothing, unless you wait for the number on your to-do list or your reading list to reach zero. Unless you are the type of person who is naturally drawn to spending downtime reverieing or meditation, the last thing you want is to have to add something--doing nothing--to your to-do list, thus adding even more pressure. Of course, not all of us have the privilege and luxury of abundant leisure time, but we can do our best to carve out a few dozen minutes each day just for silence.
If you are still finding it difficult to reconnect to joyful things in your life, try adding a regular meditation and/or yoga practice, as well as some breathing exercises. If you are experiencing barriers in doing things that you used to enjoy, see if there are new activities you can substitute for them, or alternative ways of doing the things that you used to enjoy. For example, if you used to enjoy going out for lunch with friends, but no longer have an opportunity to see them, see if there is another social activity that you could pick up that you would enjoy.
Then workplace tips columnist Allison Greene might be able to channel this energy into finding a new, non-Josh-related job. Switching may seem like giving up, but I would say since you tried other avenues that were available with no luck, this method is simply fully committed to seeing the realities of the workplace and proceeding from there. This may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes accepting that your working situation is not going to change makes it a lot easier to tolerate.
There can be a real sense of relief to decide you do not have to do any of that, because the reality is just that your boss is terrible, and it is not going to change. Because once things are down, whether it is a good or a bad one, you cannot really do anything about it. Ah, as I said earlier, if you gave a hundred percent of yourself, you can make mistakes, but you cannot do anything about it, because you gave one hundred percent.
On the other hand, there is nothing better at building confidence than learning that you can do things that you thought you could not. There is something slippery about it: There is nothing better than a great musical, but a good musical could also turn out to be one of the worst times you will have. I wish I could have done much more singing; it is just one of those things where I cannot really describe what it feels like when you are standing up in front of a forty-piece orchestra, and you do not have anything but the mic between you and the audience. I do not think anyone could succeed that did not enjoy what they were doing.
Sometimes it does us no harm to avoid things that we do not like, then other times it does us no harm to avoid things that we do not like. Now, again, there are lots of things where, if you do not like it, you can avoid it, it does not hurt you. Lots of things where avoiding them does. When you are allowed to have it all, you will discover there is not anything that you actually want.
Maybe you stopped doing things that you used to enjoy, cannot get out of bed in the morning, or you feel hopeless or lost about your future. If you are still feeling lack of pleasure or motivation, you might be living with clinical depression, and it is not something you can fix yourself. There is nothing sadder, no more difficult thing in the world, than watching someone you love crumble before your eyes -- and being powerless to say or do anything about it.
As a parent, the best gift you can give them is your undivided attention. Save somebodys face whenever you can, and they are pretty much incapable of doing anything unto you. Expect him to lecture the workplace advice columnist Allison Green about topics that you are good at but that he knows nothing about, and internally roll your eyes.
He is IMing me all day long, wanting me to remind him what was discussed at meetings he was at, asking me to look up emails sent to him because he cannot bother looking at his own inbox, you name it. He typically pops up towards the end of the project, adding stuff, or demanding a last-minute tweak, to have his participation seen so that he can take credit. Now, the thing that he says after this, if you have grown up in the Church, is quite familiar, and I took that verse and flipped it around so we English readers could better understand what James is communicating.
I want you to pray for wisdom from God, because James says this is the prayer God answers each time. If you cannot think of any way that God can use the situation you are facing right now, then I want you to do what James tells us to do. If you are simply unsure how to go about this, if you are one who is lacking in wisdom or perspective, then you need to ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and He will give you.
You may even want someone to share his feelings with you, that way, he does not feel judged because he is talking publicly. To soothe someone when you cannot provide anything but solace, try giving them a hug, which may help calm the stress reaction.