Host
Arthur Taylor
Podcast Content
Research shows that playful mocking between parents and their children can be a way to foster relationships, raise challenging topics, and simply enjoy themselves--but parents must be aware of when mocking crosses a line into hurtful behavior. It is true that playful teasing is a part of family life; you have no doubt trolled your kids at one time or another, just like they have trolled you. Some children do mock as this is how they were taught to communicate with others. Children tease because it can be a funny way of getting someone elses reaction, and they might be willing to return the favor by being teased themselves.
Children who are perceived to be different can get more teasing than others. Children may be teased in order to gain attention, even if that attention is negative.
Tease on the basis of physical appearance is almost always hostile and harmful. Sometimes, bullies will target people who are smarter than they are, or different from them in some way. When most bullies pick on somebody else, it makes them feel bigger and more powerful.
Getting a bigger response from someone can make the bully feel they have the power that they want. Other bullies might not actually realize just how harmful their actions could be. If most bullies continue to behave in ways that are both mean and hurtful, sooner or later, there might only be a handful of friends left - often just other kids like themselves.
If you do the things the bully says, it is likely that the mean kids will continue bullying you. A bully may say mean things about someone, pick up the kids things, mock somebody, or intentionally exclude the child from a group. Bullies may punch, kick, or shove people to hurt, or use words to call names, mock, or intimidate.
Sometimes, when people are just being just mocking or just kidding, they are actually being mean and being bullying. To get a little more concrete, some people might be bad at responding when someone is first mocking them. Too often, when people tell someone to stop making fun of them, they are not communicating strongly, and the message gets lost. Instead, the teasers best intentions are not clear, and the person often feels that the comments are petty and annoying.
While you do not have to detail every single way the teasing is hurting your feelings, you should ensure people know it is bothering you, is not funny, and that you would like it to stop. Do not muddy the waters, playing down your hurt feelings and the fact that you no longer want the teasing. Your closest friends consider good-natured, but if this is causing you distress, let them know. If you are the type who does not like being teased, make sure that you avoid doing silly things or telling weird stories about yourself.
Sometimes, people will do goofy things or say stupid things in order to be teased. It is very common for friends, family, and coworkers to make jokes and good-natured mockery of one another. Remember, the good-natured teasing typically revolves around some really small quirk or silly thing that someone said or did, and the two people found it hilarious. Sometimes, playingfully mocking someone or making fun of them is not that funny in the end, especially if the person on the receiving end does not find it funny.
Remember, mocking comes down to having a good time and creating a fun dynamic. Some people use mocking as a way of being playful, in order to get closer to another person, or show friendliness. Teasing can reinforce relationships by showing closerness and attachment with another person. You cannot prevent words from coming out another persons mouth, but you can help the child deal with being trolled.
If a child being teased has difficulty expressing themselves/herself, discuss and practice ways that they/they could confidently tell a child being teased or bullied to stop. Make sure that the child knows that they should talk with a trusted adult or supportive peer if teasing or bullying continues. Try not to respond to teasing or bullying by showing you are frustrated.
When another child gets angry or starts crying, the kid doing the teasing knows their words will make others react. Talk to children about walking away or keeping their attention focused on their game rather than on teasing, but realize that is really difficult for a younger child to do. Children also can advocate for one another, telling a bully to stop bullying or frightening the other person, then walking away together.
For instance, your friends are saying that your T-shirt looks great, and of course, they are making fun of it by saying that it is way too loud and trying. Whenever anyone makes fun of them, their first instinct is to get hurt, and to assume that the other person is being bully. Role-playing using dolls or puppets can serve as a prevention method, teaching children differences and helping them to develop strategies for dealing with taunting comments.