Eps 186: give me time to think
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You cannot fix problems or let go of problems unless you give yourself the time to think them through. After all, you can think as long and hard about anything you like, but thinking alone is not going to get the job done. If you are going to set aside time to think about it more, you have to make a commitment to doing so.
Everything you have to do has to happen in a context of time, and the odds are far greater that you will stick with your time for thought if you schedule it into your calendar. If you simply say that you are going to set aside time, chances are that will not happen.
Another way of doing it is by scheduling thinking time in your calendar. That way, you can plan for additional reflection time at a regular interval. Even better, set aside time each week for checking in with the other person to see if more time is needed.
As much as possible, cross things off of your to-do list, turn down events you are not important about, and figure out ways to say "no". Or, if you need help delaying, try the "Someday-Maybe-Later" List -- the parking lot for tasks and projects that you feel like you cannot accomplish right now, but might attempt at some point in the future. Take some time every week to think about which tasks you may be willing to take on.
Think about the places you think best, and make a habit of going there every day. A garden walk can happen really quickly; you just need to make it a priority periodically to prioritize your thoughts over tinkering. When thinking and planning, consider using pen and paper, at least part of the time.
Or, when you are grinding your teeth at night, you might want to take a brief thought session there. The benefit is that the thought takes your mind off of your exercise, which may make it feel easier.
With all these commitments, it may seem like there is no time to simply sit and think. Running a business means that there is a constant barrage of emails, endless to-do lists, and not enough time for really just thinking. In business, leaders also have to make time and space for getting away from everything.
Some top companies have mandated thinking time for all senior leaders. Most successful people--whether startup entrepreneurs or senior executives at corner offices--know that if they do not set aside time for reflection, they lose perspective and cannot make the wise decisions that will drive their companies over the long haul. Unfortunately, this means very little time for reflection or active thinking about long-term goals.
If you feel like you are running out of time to pursue greater things in your life, reconsider. There is a valuable amount of time. One of the most important priorities of life, aside from taking the time to reflect on your goals, is that you take action on them.
Do not forget to give some time to your thoughts Finally, while leaving yourself a little bit of room, also be sure to spend time thinking. One reason why you should spend some of your spare time thinking is that you will reevaluate your goals and steps, and how you are doing on reaching those goals. Spending time thinking is also a highly effective way of solving problems, and discovering the true obstacles holding you back from greater personal and professional success. This article helps you to figure out exactly why a person may tell you they need time to reflect on things, and what you can do about it.
By now, you should have a better understanding of why your guy says that he needs time to think about your relationship. If he says he needs to think about your relationship, try following this very effective technique. Your man does not deserve your time, and you better do something better than to wait around for a guy who is never going to get his head around it. If someone keeps asking for your opinion or input about something, but you still have not made up your mind, just tell them that you need some time to reflect.
Assuming you need lots of time to think is going to become a sticking point, especially if you are tired or feeling rushed. You have to know when to begin thinking and dreaming, and when it is time to act. Treat your time for reflection as you would any other appointment, and be sure you come prepared with tools. What I would suggest is that you take a look at your calendar, and you set a regular, even just three-hour block on your calendar each week, that is just time for thinking, just sitting and reflecting, and you will find you have more sense of control.
In fact, when students are given structured ways to practice reflection, and concrete directions for what to do during quiet time, they are likely to become more productive while reflecting. Within Time for Reflection, Nancy Cline describes a tremendously elegant process and conditions that can contribute to improving the quality of thinking. In Time To Think, she describes how we can get the help, and presents a step-by-step guide to be used in any situation.
Practically speaking, Nancy Cline advocates taking the time to tell at the end of meetings to name ONE quality that you respect about the person on your right . Take Time To Appreciate The People Around You, Nancy Kline suggests a 5-to-1 ratio of appreciating to criticizing helps people to reflect for themselves. If you truly consider, what others think about you does not really matter.